Satisfies six to eight hearty appetites.

• 1 tbsp butter (or butter substitute... I can't believe it's not butter!)
• 2 tbsp flour (the white non-nutritious kind)
• 1 1/2 cups milk (powdered and mixed with tap water... not the real stuff)
• 1/2 cup canned chicken broth (with lots of added salt and preservatives)
• 1 1/2 tbsp dried basil (comes pre-dried in a jar... you don't have to dry it yourself)
• 12 ounces Fettuccine (that's a noodle like spaghetti only wider)
• 1 can Spam julienned (that means cut into strips... not the can, the Spam!)
• 1 package frozen or freeze dried vegetables cooked and drained (the vegetables, not the package)
• 2/3 cup Parmesan Cheese (the one in the green cardboard can that's been sitting for years in your cupboard)

In small saucepan, melt butter or butter substitute. Stir in white flour. Cook, for one minute (not 59 seconds) stirring furiously. Add powdered milk mixture, chicken broth and basil. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly until thickened. Keep warm (the sauce, not you).

Now cook your Fettucini (the wider than spaghetti stuff) in a gigantic pot following detailed package directions carefully (dump in boiling water till cooked). Drain the water off the Fettucini and dump in your julienned Spam, vegetables and sauce. Cook, stirring, over medium heat until thoroughly heated... unless you just can't wait in which case, eat it cold!

Sprinkle parmesan cheese (the one in the green cardboard box... unless it's too lumpy to sprinkle from sitting in the cupboard for years) over the top of your creation. Yum!